Having an Affair
Relationships are based on trust, loyalty, and faith and of course, love. If there is lack of any of these, for example if a married person is having an affair, then the relationship obviously becomes rotten and there remains little point in continuing to have it.
There is a fine line between having an affair and remaining friendly with someone of the opposite sex. Different people may have different outlooks on this, but most will perhaps agree that having an affair is not just about sleeping with someone other than your spouse or lover. There are different kinds of infidelities, but they all can be broadly categorized into mental and physical forms of cheating. Every relationship has a different structure, and apart from the ones which are called ‘open relationships’, in every other romantic relationship, trust, love and loyalty are main criteria. The difficulty arises when trying to decide what exactly is equivalent to having an affair.
For most people, it would be getting into an illicit, intimate physical relationship with ‘another one’. That viewpoint remains undisputed, but there can be controversies as to when exactly a close and intimate ‘friendship’ between your spouse and his/her friend of the opposite gender, turns into an affair, even without them getting physical. For example, frequent meetings, romantic or over-affectionate message exchanges, and lengthy communications over phone, chat or emails may be signs of having an affair.
Other symptoms of an affair may be not returning phone calls or coming home late at nights or lying about certain things (like you may catch your lover or spouse with a boyfriend or girlfriend, as the case may be, in a restaurant even though you were told that he/she was going somewhere else) or even resuming contact with the ‘ex’. Irregular changes in behavior or frequent buying of new clothes may be signs of having an affair.
Is your friend having an affair?
So, what if indeed someone’s spouse is having an affair? If the partner is very loving, faithful and caring, then this can be devastating for the soul. Many people break down emotionally and some even need medical attention because of the immense mental suffering. Some may take it much less personally and may move on, while others can totally lose it, understandably so.
However, sometimes having an affair is the only way out, and this can be true for women mainly. In Western Culture, divorce is pretty common when marriages do not work, hence eliminating the need for affairs, but in certain cultures, lonely women are quite oppressed and are forced to get married against their own will, often with much older men, whom they did not even know. These men in some particular communities may have multiple wives even, while still others may be cruel, rude and even wife-beating husbands. In such societies, if a woman engages in adultery, it is conceived as a sin, but from a moral standpoint, it can be said that the woman was not at fault.
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